Today is the 2nd of June 2019 and I am exactly 34 weeks pregnant. I will get to meet my baby girl in 2 weeks provided my scan results show that I can hold off delivery til then.
When I got pregnant the first time, I thought that would be the only pregnancy I'll have in this lifetime. I never imagined life with 2 kids. I never asked God for a second child but He chose to give me another one to take care of. I feel so blessed.
I had a smooth start in this second pregnancy with less meds to take and less frequent checkups with my doctor. However, on my 24th week, my OB noticed a diastolic bloodflow restriction of the umbilical artery which signified I may have APAS. I cried. I cannot believe that I'd have this disorder which I've heard of several times from other women suffering from it. And this was to add on top of my complication of gestational diabetes.
I was asked to get the workup and it turned out positive. To keep my pregnancy, I had to inject Innohep daily and started at the lowest dose of .35mL which was constantly increased by my immunologist depending on my weekly scan results. Currently, I'm at .70mL a day which is twice as much as my initial dose.
Having APAS created a huge dent on our budget. What I initially thought as a smooth sailing and less expensive pregnancy turned out into something else. I found myself running back and forth to the pharmacy to get my supply of Innohep plus other meds and vitamins. I am not complaining though. I am willing to do anything for my baby girl to survive.
Week after week, as I enter the clinic for a scan, I can't help but worry about my results. Will my Innohep dose be increased again? Do I have to take the expensive IVIG infusion that I'm sure we cannot afford? But most importantly, I wonder if my baby is still alive. My heart is pounding each time I go for a checkup. Tomorrow, I will be coming in for another one. Wish me luck!
To my first born, I love you with all my heart. I cannot imagine having to take away some of our time together for I need to care of your little sister. But please know that you are so so so important to me and that I love you more than words can ever say. I can't help but feel sad that you'd have to share me with your sister when she arrives. I know that you are a good boy and that you'd understand. I hope that you guys will love each other. I promise to give you the attention and love that you have gotten used to even if it means I don't get to sleep anymore.
I know you didn't ask to be an older brother this soon. Please know that I will do my very best for you and your sister and I will multiply my love and energy for you both.
I love you so so so much,
Mommy Shane
